Feel free to read the first article if you haven’t yet. Without further adieu…
Just as I mentioned previously, everything will vary based on where you are. But there are stereotypes that I have about certain instruments. At school (or at least my school), people in the instrumental music program are sometimes referred to based on what instrument they play. For example, if someone didn’t know my friend, I might refer to them as “the flute.”
A basic school group will typically have flutes, clarinets, and saxophones in the woodwind family. I have no idea why it’s named that way, but it is. A middle school group may have bass clarinet, oboe, bassoon, and piccolo. Basic brass (the other instrument category) instruments are trumpets, trombones, and possibly tuba. Middle school may have euphonium, french horn, cornet. A program may not have the “middle school” instruments if they lack funds since instruments are quite expensive.
Listed from left to right: snare drum, trumpet, guitar, saxophone; Instruments in the back bottom to top: piano, clarinet, flute
*Side note: the writing below is written in a list format, therefore there aren’t complete sentences*
Flutes:
- Common that a band will have a ridiculous number of flute players compared to others
- It’s not for only girls; boys can play too!
- Very squeaky when beginners play high notes
- Will sometimes just play a scale to show off and butcher the ending
Clarinet:
- Squidward from Spongebob played it… Not much help if you’ve never seen Spongebob (I haven’t), but it looks like a recorder
- Players will hold it like a flute to be funny… it’s not funny
Saxophone:
- There’s alto, tenor, and baritone: not exactly sure what the difference is, but baritone is larger. Apparently saxophone fingering is the same/similar to a clarinet
- Literally competes with trumpet on who plays “Baby Shark” more often
- Very cool if good at jazz
Piccolo:
- Second chair flute usually plays it, so you want a good second chair, otherwise, brace yourself
- Squeakier than a clarinet and high pitched, especially if it’s not well played
- Even professionals are hard to listen to; higher than a flute
- Don’t do this to yourself
Bass clarinet:
- Larger and has a deeper sound than a clarinet
- I personally like the sound better
- Not as common as a clarinet; there might be two or three
- Usually shy and quiet players
Oboe:
- A double-reed instrument requires more air than a single reed such as a clarinet
- It’s either elegant or sounds like a duck
- Needs even more effort than other instruments to make sound
Bassoon:
- Even less known than an oboe, is also a double-reed
- Not a popular instrument; there might be two while flutes or clarinets have over 10 each
- Sounds very nice and low
Trumpet:
- Consider yourself lucky if you meet a kind, “normal” trumpet; there’s a high chance they’re egotistical
- We need more girls playing since many boys choose it for the flashiness
- More of a “Careless Whisper” player, but will also play “Baby Shark” until the director bans it
Trombone:
- The ones with the slide thing; try to avoid bonking into someone else
- I can’t stress how many times I’ve tripped on a trombone case lying around on the floor
- Either very quiet or too loud, and will often just blow a random note in front of people for no reason
French Horn:
- Your band director will probably want 8 and will only have 2 or 3
- Sounds nice when played well
- Beginners will sound like a grumble instead of actual notes
Tuba:
- Rarer than a French horn (which means you might not have any)
- The VeggieTales intro has the cucumber playing tuba; it’s the one with the deep sound
- Sometimes I can’t tell what note they’re playing
Euphonium:
- Also very rare (low chance of a euphonium if there’s no tuba)
- Not likely that a non-band student will know what it is unless their friend plays it
- It’s not as low as tuba and smaller, too
Cornet:
- A smaller trumpet. That’s about it.
Percussion (aka the best section):
- Most people will think of drums and touch the instruments when they’re not supposed to
- Most pieces will probably have mallets (such as xylophone. And no, it’s not the little toys), snare drum, bass drum, and timpani (huge drums with pitches)
- Has other instruments other than the triangle; dozens of different types. These are called auxiliary percussion, which means the literal definition; composers will put in these instruments (such as the cymbals) for a certain affect in the music.
- Possible that you might only get to hit one triangle the whole concert if there’s an overpopulated percussion section. Just kidding. (Not.)
I hope you’re somewhat interested in becoming a part of a music program or the music community if it’s available where you are. I highly recommend that you try it if it’s available! I know music isn’t for everyone, but maybe you’ll love it. If not, then maybe an opportunity will present itself sometime in the future.
Happy Reading!
P.S. All content written above is meant for the purpose of humor and informing people. All instruments are special in their own way, and I believe anyone can excel at their instrument if they have the passion for it.
